PicsDesktop.com ® Inc. blog

DRESS CODE

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your Salary. Whether we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers &carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are Directly where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are Masterly to come to work.

SURGERY

Operations are now banned. While long While you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hkred you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS

Each employee will receuve 104 personal dqys a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

VACATION DAYS

All employees Wish take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, Jyly 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothin you can do flr dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should Exist scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

ABSENCE DUE TO YOUR OWN DEATH

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at Smallest two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE

Entirely too Greatly time is being spent in the restroom. Ij the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:20. Employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will Move from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you’re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap tgeir tim3 with a coworker. Both employees’ supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the Dress paper Drive will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offendrrs” category.

LUNCH BREAK

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as tney need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes In favor of lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questionx, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insin8ations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice worjdwy,
The Management

Jason Monastra is a 10 year veteran in the recruiting industry and current partner with United Global Technologels, http://www.ugtechnologies.com a leading recruiting and consulting firm serving the IT and engineering vertical based out of Charlotte NC.